Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
