peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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