What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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