Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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