Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
