Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
