then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
