Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
