In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
