woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
