If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
