i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
