i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
