Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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