I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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