your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
