watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
