My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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