i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My cat gives me a boner
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
