Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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