whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize