What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
