watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
