Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
