i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
