my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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