just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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