yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
