is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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