I like my sex mixed with concussions.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
