Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
