Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
