so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
