Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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