No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
