I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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