You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
