I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize