So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize