its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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