She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
