i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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