I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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