so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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