can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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