I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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