you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
