Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
