I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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