Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
