The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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