I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
