Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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