at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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