Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm at about main and main street
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
