did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
