he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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