I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I deserve this hangover.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
