What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
