He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
