I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
